Men are from Sears; Women are from the mall: Stockpiling, shopping, and gender

I went shopping with my husband the other day. This was a rare occurrence, the sort of thing that happens with the same frequency as the passing of Halley's Comet. He needed jeans and casual shirts to replace the fraying college sweatshirt he insists on dragging out during weekends, so to the Gap Outlet we went.

Once we arrived, I meandered over to a tantalizing display of cable-knit sweaters while he strode purposefully towards the men's wear. A mere ten minutes later he had finished, and victoriously marched towards the register with an armload of identical crewnecks in multiple colors and a single pair of jeans. I, on the other hand, was still considering a red cardigan, black tights, leopard ballet flats, a gold belt, grey jeans, two long-sleeved tees and a pile of socks.

Back in December, the New York Times examined the shopping habits of men, and came to the conclusion that men stockpile and women shop. The article profiled sixteen men, some of whom are employed in the fashion industry as designers, style bloggers and magazine editors, and described their buying habits. Designer Billy Reid confessed to buying "three or four" pairs of identical Levis at a time. Gabe Schulman, contributor to Thestyleblogger, explained that he loved the cut of a particular pair of pants so much that he bought four identical pairs. And tattoo artist Scott Campbell told of his infatuation with plain old black Gold Toe socks, of which he purchases in bulk.

When I shop, I'm perfectly content to meander through sprawling displays or detour through the shoe department. I give little thought to stopping at a cosmetics counter for a quick spray of perfume before, maybe, making a purchase. In contrast, Wharton Business School research has discovered that men regard shopping as a mission and are much less inclined to browse and wander. In general, men intend to buy a targeted item and flee the store as quickly as possible.

In a study titled, "Men Buy, Women Shop," researchers at Wharton's Jay H. Baker Retail Initiative and the Verde Group, a Toronto consulting firm, found that men are more likely to respond to more utilitarian aspects of the shopping experience than women are - such as the availability of parking, whether the item they came for is in stock, and the length of the checkout line. However, Women place more value on the attention of customer sales associates, and whether associates are readily available to help when needed.

One female shopper between the ages of 18 and 35 told the researchers: "I love shopping. I love shopping even when I have a deadline. I just love shopping." Compare that to this response from a male in the same age group who described how men approach retailing: "We're going to this store and we buy it and we leave because we want to do something else."

I believe most men shop like they're smartbombs dropped from F-22's. They're tactical. They have lists. If they walk into a mall, they usually know exactly where they're going and what they're buying. They are concerned with durability and comfort because if the item lasts, they can shop less often. These men generally don't pay attention to what's trendy. They don't go from store to store to store. They don't wander aimlessly. They want to get in, buy what they need, and get out.That's it.

This utilitarian shopping philosophy easily explains the tendency of some men to stockpile favorite pieces. However, I also know women who dread going shopping, and negotiate the need for new clothes with both online ordering and purchasing multiple pieces of the same item in different colors. The tricky fit of certain pieces, such as jeans and undergarments, may also encourage a shopper of either gender to stockpile. My own stockpile of J Brand jeans is a testament to my preference towards their fit.

The Times article led me to wonder if gender differences in shopping habits really are as concrete as the piece suggests. Do you consider yourself a stockpiler when it comes to shopping? Do you prefer to wander and browse, or are you focused on buying what you need and leaving when finished?

The connection between low body image and shopping behavior

I have some seriously beautiful friends. Friends with long legs. Friends with translucently pale skin. Friends with interesting faces and luxuriously thick heads of hair. They know how to dress, these friends, and have that mystically quality of looking put-together without as if they tried to look put together. They walk with an elegant, confident stride. They can go without make-up, have enviable tiny waists and project an air of confidence that's hard to ignore.

There is no question that when I'm with these women, I'm the odd one out. I am not statuesque nor tall like most of them are. My hair refuses to be coaxed into submission, and becomes rebelliously disheveled the longer the day drags on. And it's red - aggressively red. Without mascara, I look half-asleep. And I have a few very prominent tattoos that make me appear both quirky and slightly dangerous.

But I like spending time with these women. We meet over drinks and laugh and share appetizers and gossip about blogging stuff. But we've rarely gone shopping together. I was thinking about this when I wrote last week's post regarding shopping as a female bonding activity. Then I came upon an article in the Huffington Post that's somewhat related. According to a study conducted by Science Daily, as reported in the Journal of Consumer Research, new research shows that when you feel unhappy about your body while trying on an outfit in a store and you see an attractive customer or salesperson wearing that same outfit, you are less likely to buy it.

The authors of the paper write:

"If [the low self-esteem customer] sees a dress on an attractive consumer in the store and is trying on the same dress herself, as she looks in the mirror she now thinks to herself, 'That dress is really cute and stylish on me, but compared to her, I look terrible!'"

For this phenomenon to occur, both parties needed to be wearing the same item. In the study, the negative evaluations did not occur if the other shopper was merely carrying the item or if consumers didn't try on the item but saw someone else wearing it. It should also be noted that the sample population the study relied on had low body image to begin with, and as a result, the findings only apply when shoppers have low self-esteem before entering a store. But I found it compelling that we, as consumers, are so influenced by the shoppers (and salespeople) around us that they might prevent us from making a purchase. That's because consumers take in social cues when shopping, meaning even if a shopper thinks a shirt looks stylish on the rack or on another person wearing the item in a store, when the shopper tries on the item, he or she has a tendency to think, "I look terrible compared to the good-looking person who had this on!"

The study concludes that retailers should design their stores so shoppers can try on clothes without having to leave private dressing rooms and be distracted by other people. It also questions whether employees should be required to wear a brand's clothing. States like California already have laws in place to prevent brands such as Abercrombie, Gap and Polo Ralph Lauren from requiring their employees to buy and wear their clothes, but there are no laws requiring stores to have private dressing rooms

It is nearly an impossible task to avoid comparing yourself to other women when we're wearing the same clothes as they are. In addition, when we're already struggling with low self-esteem, concurrent body image issues aren't that far behind. When I'm feeling especially low about how look (which is approximately 75% of the time) the last thing I want to do is examine how I stack up to my gorgeous friends or customers wearing the same clothes. Women with low opinions of their physical appearance are at a greater risk for negative effects from any sort of media or environmental influence, whether it's advertisements with skinny models or commercials related to dieting or weight loss.

I'm wondering what you think of the results of this study. Do you think attractive customers and salespeople influence the buying habits of consumers? Would you be less inclined to make a purchase if you saw someone attractive trying on the same clothes you're considering? How much of a influence do you believe low self-esteem and body image plays into buying habits? Are you less likely to buy when you're having negative thoughts about your appearance?

In case you missed it:

I currently have TWO giveaways running this week!

• Win a pack of custom business cards from UPrinting (giveaway ends on October 5th.)
• Win a Missoni for Target winter gift set (giveaway ends October 7th.)

Shopping studies, and what they miss

I went to The Dallas Flea this past weekend. I'm not adequately able to put into words how excited I was for this event, but if it helps, I woke up at seven a.m on a Saturday to go. Flea markets are my Mecca. I love browsing booths hawking overpriced vintage clothes, re-purposed artifacts extracted from someone's backyard, and little girl hair ribbons that resemble plumage from an exotic bird. I quite happily spend hours wandering from booth to booth. Miraculously, my feet never hurt. I am unperturbed by dust and musty smells. And I sort of collapse into some bizarre time continuum where the clock seems to stop. It's not unusual for me to be shocked that I've spent four hours browsing and have not bought a single thing.

A OnePoll survey of 2,000 women showed that 63-year-old woman will spend three years of her life shopping, the Daily Mail reports. Each year, women spend 100 hours and 48 minutes in fashion and beauty stores. And add that to the 94 hours and 55 minutes the average woman passes in the grocery store. Then there's the 49 hours' worth of window shopping, 40 hours trying on shoes (shouldn't this be lumped into fashion?), 36 hours picking out gifts, 31 hours browsing books, 29 hours checking out accessories, and 17 hours getting toiletries.

Studies on shopping behavior always fascinate me. The effort taken to quantify the shopping experience through polls on time spent in stores, behavior engaged in while shopping, and mood  shoppers were in while considering purchases seems a daunting, fruitless task. I know from comments in my own blog posts that women approach shopping in entirely different ways. Some relish the chance to hunt down specific items. Others would rather have have a root canal than enter a store. Shopping is a personal experience, influenced by our individual budgets, learned behavior, social norms and regional location.

My love of shopping is primarily born from early observations during trips with my mother.  She was a champion shopper who stalked store credit cards with a ferociousness usually reserved for mother lions guarding their cubs. She thought nothing of trailing shop employees into back rooms. An afternoon traipsing through the mall in search of a pair of navy blue velvet pumps (just one example of a particularly memorable excursion) got her blood pumping, much in a way a marathoner feels before the start of a race. We often had our most intimate conversations while shopping, which reinforced the bonding behavior such activity often entails.

The shopping gene is dominate through the maternal bloodline of my family. My mother's mother was a passionate shopper, as are my aunt and female cousins. When I needed a prom dress, wedding gown, first bra, maternity clothes, or shoes for my first day of school, they were there. It seems a distinctively feminine activity to bond while shopping, something exclusive to women alone. In the book Why We Buy, author Paco Underhill elaborates:

This much is certain: shopping was what got the housewife out of the house. It was (and, in many parts of the world, remains) women’s main realm of public life. Shopping gave women a good excuse to sally forth, sometimes even in blissful solitude, beyond the clutches of family. It was the first form of women’s liberation, affording an activity that lent itself to socializing with other adults, clerks and store owners and fellow shoppers.

The use of shopping as a social activity seems unchanged, however. Women still like to shop with friends, egging each other on and rescuing each other from ill-advised purchases. I don’t think we’ll ever see two men set off on a day of hunting for the perfect bathing suit… When two women shop together, they often spend more time and money than women alone. They certainly can outshop and outspend women saddled with male companions. Two women in a store can be a shopping machine and wise retailers do whatever they can to encourage this behavior — promotions such as being-a-friend-get-a-discount, or seating areas just outside dressing rooms, to allow for more relaxed try-ons… Stores with cafes on the premises allow women to shop, then take a break, without ever leaving sight of the selling floor.

What so many studies on shopping seem to discount or even ignore is the intimacy this activity creates. Whether we love it or hate it, almost all of us have some memory of shopping with friends, a family member, boyfriend or spouse. What happens during all that time spent in stores or while window-shopping is what I find so interesting. 

Do you have any associated memories about shopping? Are you an avid shopper, or do you avoid stores at all costs? Has shopping reinforced the relationships you have with friends or family? Do you see shopping as a social activity, or one that serves a utilitarian purpose? Do you prefer to shop alone, or with someone else?

Mothers dressing like their daughters is now a thing.

Dina and Lindsey Lohan

Last week I was siting in Starbucks on a sweltering afternoon nursing an iced latte when I noticed two women hunched over cell phones. Both were blonde. Both were deeply tan. Both sported aqua blue manicures. Each wore flared designer jeans with rhinestones on the back pockets, accompanied by tight revealing tee shirts. Gold gladiator sandals adorned their feet. Louis Vuitton bags swung from their chairs. They were giggling and chatting and whispering in low, conspiratorial tones, two best friends bonding over coffee.

Then they got up to leave, and I realized that this pair was that of a mother-daughter.

When I was younger, and lived near my mother in New York, we spent many afternoons shopping, cruising the stores in search of the perfect pair of black suede pumps (her) and shade of pink lip gloss (me.) I have fond memories of movies we caught together and concerts we sat through.  However, despite our shared living space and common interests, never once did we dress alike. My mother is conservative, spending her money at Talbots and Ann Taylor; I haunt thrift and vintage stores. I am certain she'd be as disinclined to raid my closet as I am hers.

A few weeks ago, CNN broadcast a segment investigating the trend of mothers mimicking the personal style and fashion of their daughters. Citing Lindsay and Dina Lohan as examples, CNN referenced a study out of Temple University regarding mother-daughter style emulation. Based on a survey of 343 Israeli mother and daughter pairs, researchers found that, in cases where mothers and daughters viewed each other as fashion-savvy and respectively youthful or mature, mothers were significantly more inclined to imitate their daughters than the other way around. The study suggests that moms are looking to become style doppelgangers of their daughters in a quest both to remain youthful and fashion-forward.

In a related piece in The New York Times,  it is mentioned that many fashion industry insiders have noticed the growing trend among ordinary, non-celebrity mother-daughter pairs. As quoted in the Times: “I believe many moms defer to their daughters often out of insecurity that they perhaps missed a beat through the years, or the belief that, if you are younger, you are hipper and must be in the know,” said Sherrie Mathieson, a costume designer and celebrity style consultant based in Scottsdale, Ariz. Her 2009 book, “Steal This Style: Moms and Daughters Swap Wardrobe Secrets,” examines mother and daughter style sharing.

Joanne Arbuckle, dean of the School of Art and Design of the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York, believes the influence of social media and constant access to trends via internet had led a younger generation to gravitate towards more sophisticated offerings, which are then gleamed by their mothers. According to Arbuckle, mothers are more confident in their daughter's ability to be fashion-forward, thus making them sort of fashion role models.

“The lines are all blurred today,” Ms. Arbuckle said. “It’s not about, ‘You’re this age, and this is what you do."

There is no question that traditional standards of clothing marketed towards pre-teens and teenagers have blurred. In recent days, high-end designers such as Gucci, Versace, Stella McCartney, Lavin, Diane Von Furstenberg, and Marc Jacobs have all introduced clothing for children and pre-teens. This cross-over of sophisticated dress naturally results in both children dressing as their mothers, and the reverse. Add the proliferation of social media to the mix and it's no wonder that mothers are looking more towards their daughters for style inspiration.

I don't think there's any chance my mother would suddenly start dressing as me, and, to be honest, I'm not sure how I would feel if she did. But it's an interesting concept to ponder. What do you think of the trend of mothers dressing like their daughters? Have you noticed any examples of this trend recently? Do you and your mother share similar styles?